For the Gang

When I mention the gang, anyone who knew me at the university will immediately know who I am talking about. There were four of us, and we were almost always together, considering we were all taking the same course. The others had different lives outside the gang, but I only had about three or four other friends besides them. So, like I always do, I got attached to each of them, in different ways of course, but I’m somewhat glad I did, because I gained lifelong friends from it.

I cannot, for the life of me, remember how we all got together in the first place, but I do remember how each of the individual relationships started. First came C. We met on the very first day at the campus. He was right behind me at the queue outside the admissions office in our department. I don’t remember talking much that day, but we met several days later, exchanged numbers and texted every day for about two years. C was probably the first person I called my best friend and actually meant it. I talked to him about everything and anything, and I genuinely enjoyed his company. The friendship was almost ruined, but that’s a story for another day. Of course, we patched things up, or he wouldn’t feature on this piece.

Then came Z. I recall seeing Z on that first day, but it was only till our first class that I actually noticed him. C and I were sitting at the back (I have always been a back bencher right from primary school) and Z was a few rows ahead of us. I later found out he was staying a few blocks from C’s room, and we all became friends by hanging out after our classes. If you ask me, Z is the funny one in the group. He’s the one who makes everyone laugh, and I can always count on him to brighten up my day if I’m having a crappy one.

And then there’s J, the only other girl in the group. I stayed in the school’s hostel during my first year, and J lived across the hall. We started out by going to classes together, because when you’re taking the course I did, you need a shove every now and then to get you to class. We weren’t really close during that first year, but we grew tight over the years, and I owe her a lot.

When you’ve been friends for several years, you’re bound to have tons of memories. My best moments during the four years involve one of these guys, or the entire group. The boys helped throw me my first birthday party at the University. To date, I have hazy memories of that day, but I had mad fun. They brought me along to parties, and ensured I had fun and stayed safe. I had lots of fun trying out new things with J. Like friendship dates, and hikes, and even weekends where the only thing I was able to do was crush at her place and wait for mutura every evening.

But, just as I have good memories with the gang, so do I terrible ones. Remember when I said my friendship with C was almost ruined? Well, that did a number on the entire group as well. I was quite the mess during my third and part of my fourth year, and was quite a handful for my friends. They had to pick me up every so often, and I really hated myself for it most times. But they did it, again and again, as many times as it was necessary, till I got better. If they ever complained about it, they never said it to me. Well, apart from C, coz he can’t really hide his irritation.

Like that time I was drinking at a friend’s and it got late. I needed to get back to my place and since I couldn’t go on my own, I called the boys. They showed up, of course, mad and all-but they showed up. Z was a good sport all along, kept me laughing all through. But C was mad, and I could tell it. So I sought to make him even angrier, and it worked. Of course, I was apologizing crazily the next day, as I often did after my shenanigans, but I guess they got tired of the apologies at some point. Because it was never the last time, as much as I always promised it was. But they kept showing up, and they have no idea how grateful I am for that.

There’s that day I texted J in the morning and told her I couldn’t make it to class. We used to all meet at the gate and walk to classes together, but when things got a little too thin, we split. So J and I would meet up each morning, and walk back together at the end of the day. But that day, I just couldn’t. I was probably having one of my worst days (there were several of those during that year), had probably cried for several hours the previous night, maybe I hadn’t even slept at all. I just can’t remember. At the time, I didn’t think I’d ever get past that, but I can’t even tell the exact circumstances on that day. I just know I was really sad, and I didn’t have the strength to do anything that day.

So when I told J that, she made her way to my place and helped get me ready. Heated some water for me to take a bath. She got breakfast sorted when I was in the bathroom, and even cleaned up the dirty dishes I had in my sink. I got all dolled up and we made it to class. Just like that, a day that would have probably been disastrous turned into a good day. After class, coming back to a clean place helped keep me happy.

I’m not sure my classmates ever noticed anything, because I did try to keep it together when I was around them. I kept to the gang mostly, and if none of them was around I’d sit alone, usually on the last row.

Here’s the thing, when it gets better- and it does, it really does- you won’t remember the details, but you’ll remember those who were there. Of course, I do remember the really major incidents, but I know they had to pick me so many times. I’m not sure if I was a good friend as much as I was a bad one, but I make a point of reminding them what they mean to me every so often. Okay, not all of them. I don’t say that to C anymore, but he knows, at least I hope he does.

Adulting happens and as expected, we drifted apart after campus. We still stay in touch, and make a point of checking up on each other, but we all have our different lives. The pandemic hasn’t made things easier, and I haven’t seen any of them in a minute. But here’s the thing, these guys had my back during some of my worst times, and I know I can count on them to come through for me. I would do the same for them without batting an eyelid.

So, I wanted to write this for the gang- let them know I appreciate them all. I’m going to keep them around, and not just because they could tell the most embarrassing stories about me- and believe me, they remind me sometimes. This piece doesn’t even do them justice, but it’s genuine.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I’d really want to see each of them thrive in their chosen paths. I’d love to be old and wrinkled and recalling the stupid things we did over the years. I found my tribe, and I really hope you do too, because when you find the right ones, life gets a little bit easier.

Love and Light.